“Wait Alexis…. You’re adopted?”

I get asked this question all the time.

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew there was something unique about me. I would tell everyone about my special gift–I am adopted. Not just one mom, but two, and not just one dad, but two. I loved that I was adopted because it meant there were so many people in my life that cherished me. 

In first grade, my class made family trees: moms, dads, grandmas, and grandpas, all on a scribbled tree connecting the love that generations bring. 

For me, this meant disappointment. I never knew who gave me my green eyes, dirty blonde hair or the freckle on my right shoulder. I loved being unique, but felt left out when it came to my family history.

One thing that always made me feel proud of who I was was the movie Annie, which was about a little girl in an orphanage who found a loving family. I would reenact all the scenes with my mom, who was also adopted. I never felt alone because of the bond we shared. My mom would always say that being adopted meant that we were just too amazing for only two parents. 

As I grew older, I realized that adoption is a beautiful thing. It is a way to give a baby a second chance, or even a whole new life. I have so many parents who love me, and that all started because of my birth parents. 

One thing I have always struggled with is closure on the big question every adopted child is dying to know: “Who are my birth parents?”

Recently, I found my birth father who, surprisingly, lives in the same state as me. I was born in North Carolina, and since then have lived in Arizona and now Maryland. What are the odds that both my birth dad and I end up in the same state after ten years apart? So, when I had the opportunity to talk to him, I didn’t hesitate. 

“Adoption has left a void that I think I’ve always chased. You were a beautiful baby girl and I have always had a girls name picked out if I was ever lucky enough to have another daughter,”  said Paul Rosenburger, my birth father.

Like many adoption stories, mine is complicated and messy. My adoption was a closed adoption, which meant the connection between my birth parents and I was cut off the moment my adoptive parents held me in their arms. Luckily, life has a funny way of working itself out, and I was blessed to find my birth father. I can’t wait to see what this new chapter brings to both of our lives.

Adoption can be heartbreaking, but also eye-opening. It can be hard to see the long-term benefits of adoption in the moment, but I can say with certainty that adoption was the best option for me. Do I sometimes wonder what my life would be like if I wasn’t adopted? Yes. But I wouldn’t change a thing about my beautiful, messy miracle.