Divorced teens struggle to deal with holiday stress

by Kate Mannarino, Reporter

Divorce is never easy.  Though it may be the best or only solution for a marriage, it brings challenges and pain for everyone involved.  But it can also bring opportunities for families to grow through the difficult times. While the parents are working out the difficulties that come with ending their relationship, the children in a family are impacted just as deeply.  This impact is felt particularly during the holidays.

According to sophomore Taylor Stone, a child of a recent divorce, the hardest thing about her parents’ break up is finding a way to spend equal time with both parents.  “In the past, my family always had a huge Halloween party,” Taylor said.  “But this year, we did not have one.  I had to have a party on my own.”

It is not uncommon for children of divorce to experience extra pain during the holidays.  According to Mrs. Katherine Becker, school counselor, trying to figure out which parent to spend time with and the guilt that goes along with this decision is the most common issue for students who come from divorced parents.

Becker said, “Blended families are very prevalent, so society does not judge as much as [it did] 20 years ago.” But that doesn’t make dealing with those issues any easier.

“Some people recognize that holidays are happy for many people, but others get angry that these happy families are not theirs,” said Mr. Andrew McWilliams, Assistant Principal.  That said, McWilliams acknowledges that the holidays can be stressful for students coming from broken homes.

“But even still, I don’t notice any significant increase in problems, fights or other bad behavior during the holiday season,” he said.

The stress increases a little, and finances play into that, especially with the economy not fully recovered.  But Becker does not see much influx of students coming to see her.  “Most students tend to be more private about their family situation these days,” she said.

Sophomore Seth Brooks says, “We always used to have family night all the time, especially on Sunday nights.”  He went on to say that since his parents’ divorce, “Now it’s just trying to do your own thing. We try to make something happen, but it never really works.”  Brooks is just one of many students who has struggled to find his way with two families.

“I usually go to Nebraska the day of or the day after Christmas to see my dad,” he said.  “I spend the rest of the holidays with my mom.” Even students whose parents travel may not want to visit some relatives and they feel like they’re being pulled in and have to.

Taylor Stone said that another challenge kids from divorced homes face is wanting to try to make both parents happy.  The media portray people with having a nuclear family which isn’t always the case in families.  Even a show like Modern Family, which portrays unique family blending, is still a nuclear family because the extended family is stable.