It’s time for “new year, new me,” so what will the next twelve months bring?  We wonder how both the world and our lives will change, and whether or not it will be for the better.  Lancer Media has made some predictions for our LHS staff for 2016.

Aaron Burch (Social Studies) will join a trial study that alters his internal body temperature.  He will then require intense heat to survive and permanently set the thermostat in his room to a toasty 98 degrees.  His students will begin wearing wearing flip flops instead of jackets and will keep fans in the classroom instead of blankets.

Natalie Rebetsky (English) will sign up for Lumosity and emerge with a nearly photographic memory.  She begins greeting every student and faculty member she sees by their first and last name.  

After El Niño messes with his circadian rhythms, Richard Egan (Social Studies) begins staying up until 11:30 p.m. every night, and sometimes later on the weekends .  He will be the last teacher to arrive at school in the mornings and slide into class just as the bell rings.  Twenty sixteen will be a wild year.

Media Specialist Marsha Thompson will realize she has struck gold with the Sprite tree she keeps in the library.  She will move to Florida before the end of the year and become rich off her orchard of trees that grow both lemons and limes.  She will be found sunbathing on the coast enjoying icy glasses of the Sprite she helped create.

Tony Miller (Social Studies) decides this is his year for technology.  After summer break, he uses only Google Docs, and students must submit all work online.  He types all of his study guides and publishes E-textbooks on psychology and United States history.

Dan Lake (English/Math) will throw away all his records and replace them with country albums.  Instead of working quietly to heavy metal death screams, his students will solve their equations while listening to artists like Brad Paisley and Blake Shelton.  His repertoire will range from Country Western to Taylor Swift, and he will educate his students on the rich culture of country.  On Fridays, Mr. Lake will say goodbye to his band t-shirts and hello to a stylish pair of cowboy boots.

Joanne Freimuth (English/World Languages)  One night, the dragons in her classroom come to life.  Rather than become a nightmare, the school gains a new collection of reptilian pets. Ms. Freimuth names each one and starts a popular Instagram site with photos of her dragons.

Jeremy Brown (Student Service Learning/Career Education) volunteers for the Brazil Olympics and is asked to coordinate all of the 30,000 volunteers.  He has to take a leave of absence from Linganore.  Who will be the senior class adviser?   Who will organize Mr. Linganore?  Graduation?  School dances? Blood drives?  Service learning?  LHS students and staff  beg him not to go.

Barbara Ferguson (Physical Education)  ditches physical education–it’s time to relax.  She trades her tennis shoes and water for a TV remote and 6-pack of soda and spends her days consumed by reality TV.

Mark Sunkel (Science) discovers the world’s largest supply of untapped oil and becomes extremely wealthy.  He spends his now leisure time volunteering at LHS.  He adds an entire slide in his PowerPoint about pollution and the damage his oil has done to the environment.

Ilana Blum (Student Services) develops an organic chemical straightener for hair for her unruly curly hair.  Transformed, she makes several infomercials for Blum Hair Heaven and becomes rich.  She tells all her 9th graders, “Whatever you want to do, you can achieve.”

Mark Lastova (PLTW) decides to move to a remote location in the mountains where there is no cell phone signal or Internet connection.  He gives up all technology to live a life of simplicity, free from bright screens and zero privacy.

Karen Burall (Clerical Assistant) develops allergies to all her farm animals.  She decides to sell all her animals, move to a condo in Florida, and trade in her cowboy boots for flip flops.

Dave Kehne (Principal) lends his name to a line of outerwear for principals who also direct traffic.  He models his clothing line every day outside Linganore and the parent drop-off  line soon becomes snarled by people asking for selfies and autographs.