To hug or not to hug? When a handshake is not enough
Lancer Media practices a group hug.
October 7, 2014
Greetings vary by culture. In some places a handshake will suffice; in others, a kiss on the cheek is appropriate. In the United States, a handshake is traditionally used when first meeting a person or in a business setting, due to its undoubtedly platonic nature. However, for teens, it is more common to greet others with a hug.
Some adults, like journalism teacher, Mrs. Natalie Rebetsky, (who admits to limiting her hugging) believes the younger generation’s obsession with hugs stems from their desire for attention in a digital age. She says, “When strangers hug, it’s a cry for intimacy.” She believes that this desire for affection could be a sign of insecurity, which has some merit.
With the advent of widespread social media, teens are more physically and emotionally detached from their peers than ever before. It’s hard to form a confident self-identity when you’re constantly comparing yourself to the superficial impressions of a thousand people on Facebook.
Following this thread, Tony Miller, a psychology teacher, believes the reason teens hug on a daily basis is to gain some sense of connectedness. Social media has greatly distanced people, making teens long to physically connect with other human beings without any screens or or buttons between them. Miller said, “The craving for hugs is inborn.” In a contact-deprived society, teens make up for it with hugging.
Be it in greeting, consolation, love, or what have you, students think hugging is great.
Freshman Josh Watson, enjoys hugging because “that feeling of having someone in your arms, up close. It’s comforting.”
Senior Riley Bruning says, “I try to give at least two hugs a day . . . They make me feel warm inside.”
Hugging comforts in times of stress.
Evidently, hugs communicate feelings people can’t put into words. People universally love hugs, but many can’t put their finger on why. You can’t deconstruct a hug with words, but if you go out and hug someone, you’ll know exactly what we’re talking about. Still, a precise understanding of hugs eludes us, and you know what? That’s okay.
Alicia and Erik’s novice guide to hugging:
- Outstrech arms, and nonverbally cue that you want a hug. Sometimes body language says more than words.
- Make sure your hugging partner consents.
- Be vulnerable and open.
- Don’t be afraid to squeeze your partner softly but firmly.
- Lean into the embrace.
- Let it happen as long as it has to, but no longer. Normally, once you feel your partner loosening, that’s the cue to let go.
- Make eye contact as you come off and smile. Or cry. Whatever floats your boat.
- Give it a personal touch! Sway, pat, whatever. It’s your hug.